Thursday, June 25, 2009

just a reminder!


Most of you have probably already seen this but in case you haven't, or as a friendly reminder...

My friend Michelle and I are doing a super FUN, CRAZY, fundraiser in an effort to earn a little extra money in this economy for one last ultimate girls night out! (Details are on the website below. :) )

It is an on-line boutique selling yummy hand made specialty goodies, magnets, and cute hair clips, t-shirts, and bows for little girls. They make great gifts too if you are going to a baby shower, or want to take a treat to someone, birthday, whatever!

The website is www.summertimesweetsboutique.blogspot.com
Take a quick look and see if anything strikes your fancy! And if you feel so inclined, pass the link on to anyone you think might be interested!

We are taking orders until Sunday and they will be delivered or shipped by Wednesday. All the info is on the site!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Thanks Wonderful Women!

After my last post I got so many wonderful comments, phone calls, texts, and emails that really uplifted me. I am truly thankful to be surrounded by such supportive, strong, understanding, loving, and sensitive women!
Here are two things that were emailed to me that I wanted to post for all to enjoy. Thanks to Shyla and Sarah for sending them to me.

"Invisible Moms"
It all began to make sense, the blank
stares, the lack of
response, the way one of the kids will walk into
the room while I'm on
the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't
you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one
can see if I'm on the
phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or
even standing on my head in
the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The
invisible Mom.



Some days I am only a pair of hands,
nothing more: Can you fix
this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm
not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a
satellite guide to answer,
'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car
to order, 'Right around
5:30, please.' I was certain that these were
the hands that once held
books and the eyes that studied history and the
mind that graduated
summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared
into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again. She's going, she's
going, she's gone!



One night, a group of us were having
dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . Janice had
just gotten back from a
fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about
the hotel she stayed
in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together
so well. It was hard not to compare and feel
sorry for myself as I
looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the
only thing I could find
that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up
in a hair clip and I was
afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in
it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package,
and said, 'I brought you this..' It was a book
on the great cathedrals
of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd
given it to me until
I read her inscription: 'To Carol , with
admiration for the
greatness of what you are building when no one
sees.'



In the days ahead I would read - no,
devour - the book.. And I
would discover what would become for me, four
life-changing truths,
after which I could pattern my work: No one can
say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave
their whole lives for a work they would never
see finished. They made
great sacrifices and expected no credit. The
passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God
saw everything. A
legendary story in the book told of a rich man
who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled
and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird
into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'
And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'



I closed the book, feeling the missing
piece fall into place.. It
was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,
'I see you, Charlotte. I
see the sacrifices you make every day, even when
no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've
sewn on, no cupcake
you've baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will
become.'



At times, my invisibility feels like an
affliction.. But it is
not a disease that is erasing my life. It is
the cure for the disease
of my own self-centeredness.. It is the antidote
to my strong, stubborn
pride. I keep the right perspective when I see
myself as a great
builder. As one of the people who show up at a
job that they will never
see finished, to work on something that their
name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say
that no cathedrals could
ever be built in our lifetime because there are
so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.



When I really think about it, I don't
want my daughter to tell
the friend she's bringing home from college for
Thanksgiving, 'My mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade
pies, and then she hand
bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all
the linens for the
table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a
monument to myself. I
just want her to want to come home. And then,
if there is anything more
to say to her friend, to add, 'You're gonna love
it there..'



As mothers, we are building great
cathedrals. We cannot be seen
if we're doing it right. And one day, it is
very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have
built, but at the beauty
that has been added to the world by the
sacrifices of invisible women..

And this is a great quote from Sheri Dew:
"Here is the truth about womanhood. Our Father gave His daughters a divine endowment
of gifts that give us unique influence. First and foremost, we have the high privilege of
bearing children. If mortality is the time in all eternity to prove ourselves, then there is
nothing more important than bearing children and leading them along the path home.
President David O. McKay said that, 'motherhood is the greatest potential influence . . .
in human life'(Improvement Era, 1953, 452).
Our Father also gifted us with the nature to nurture, keen sensitivity to the Spirit,
selflessness, discernment, and heroic faith. No wonder our Father placed us at the heart of
the family and thus at the center of the plan of salvation. We are the Lord’s secret
weapon. Pre-mortally, when our Father described our role, we must have shouted for joy
because of the ennobling stature He gave women in His kingdom. The world won’t tell us
this stunning truth, but the Spirit will."

Love you girls!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lost Identity


Last Sunday in church, it was our family's turn to be the Spotlight in Primary. This year, since the focus is on families, they do spotlights on the whole family, not just one child. They asked us to come in and tell a little about each person; talents, hobbies, etc. Jon thought it would be fun if we each picked someone to "introduce" rather than talk about ourselves. I think he is just uncomfortable talking about himself but I thought it sounded like a good plan.

So the night before, we sat down to plan out what we were going to say. I wanted the kids to come up with their own ideas, not just say what we told them to say! But I also wanted to make sure it was appropriate!

Paige decided to introduce Jon. She came up with lots of things like:
- He works at home so she gets to see him all the time.
- He plays soccer with her in the backyard and she beats him.
- He teaches her about basketball and the players when they watch the Jazz games together.
- He lets her play his drums.
WOW! He sounds like a great dad. And he must be if that is what his own kids think up to say about him. (PS if it's not clear, I am not disputing this. He is a great dad! :))

Haily chose to introduce me.

She couldn't think of anything. She turned to Paige for some ideas. Paige couldn't think of anything. Jon was silent. Finally, Paige said, "What DO you do, Mom?" Then someone suggested that I like to watch TV. Jon laughed and said "It's true." (I feel like I have to defend myself here because although I do have a handful of shows that I watch regularly, I RARELY watch TV during the day. I almost always DVR it and watch it when the kids go to bed.)

She ended up talking mainly about how I'm going to have a baby and also that I give her medicine when she's sick. She mentioned (with Jon's prompting) that I used to run before I was pregnant. But let's face it, it's not like it's a talent. I'm not GOOD at running!

I started reflecting about myself and who I am, what I do, what I like. I'm left feeling a little lost. I thought, "Maybe I don't have time for hobbies and developing talents because I'm always busy cleaning, cooking, shopping, taking kids here and there, etc." Then I looked around the house. I saw the clutter, the piles of laundry, the empty cupboards. Looks like I haven't been doing those things lately! I really can't take pride in my skills as a housekeeper, organizer, laundress, or cook these days.

In fact, right when we walked in the door after church Jon started telling me that "we" (meaning ME) need to figure out how to better organize the kitchen so there isn't so much clutter in the counter top all the time. I just didn't want to discuss it at that moment so I said, "I know that is important but can we please not talk about it right now?" He goes "UNREAL!" So frustrating.

Has motherhood finally taken over my identity? Is all my energy spent getting the kids to school, helping with homework, putting band-aids on scrapes, paying the bills, and running the household in general? I started to really feel invisible. I mean, yes the kids need someone to feed them, to clean them, and get them to school. But couldn't anyone do that? I feel like a generic "mother" robot. Where is my personality? Who would I be without motherhood?

I'm feeling lost.

Part of me wants to get away alone to "find myself". But really, where would I go and what would I do to accomplish that? And don't you have to "lose yourself in the service of others" to find yourself? But isn't that what I already do?

Jon thinks I'm just "pregnant crazy" I'm sure. And maybe he's right. But these are the thoughts and feelings I'm having these days.