Reality Check

I know that someday, a long time from now, I will be able to see the humor in this story. It's a comedy of errors I suppose. So many things went wrong that at some point all you can do is laugh.

Last fall, some friends and I went to the New Kids on the Block concert here in Salt Lake City. (You can read the complete post.) We had the time of our lives and not only rediscovered an old love from the early teenage years but fell in love with the NEW New Kids. More on that to come...

Ever since then, we watched their blog for announcement of another tour, especially if they were to come back to Salt Lake. As it turned out the closest they would be coming was to Las Vegas. We HAD to go!! How could we make that happen? I would be 7 weeks away from having my baby. Also, we would want really good seats this time around and they were pricey. We hatched a plan to earn the money with a clever online boutique. You can look at it here. We also thought we'd take the families and stay in St. George for the weekend, making a little summer vacation out of it.

After all the work of the boutique, and searching for tickets on ebay and ksl, we earned almost to the exact dollar amount what the tickets ended up costing. It all seemed so meant to be!

Here's how the trip played out:

Michelle's husband had plans on Thursday night so we decided that the kids and moms would go down Thursday and the dads would come together on Friday morning. So, we headed out around 4 pm. When we were just over halfway there, Paige began to feel sick and ended up throwing up once in the car, twice at McDonalds in Beaver, and 3 more times when we got to St. George. I was concerned about the sickness spreading to everyone! So the next day I stayed with Paige at the house while Michelle took the other kids to the neighborhood pool. We had planned on going to a much funner pool but since we only had one car, I had to go back and forth between the house and the pool so we had to stay close. Poor Paige was feeling so left out! However, she was beginning to feel better, had an appetite, and had not thrown up that day.

We expected the guys to arrive around 3 and had planned to go into Zion Park that evening for hiking and dinner. Due to several various delays, which I won't even begin to explain, the guys didn't get there until 7:30. We spent the afternoon at a splash park in downtown St. George and getting ice cream.
By the time the guys got there everyone was starving for dinner so we headed straight to Zions. We got there about 8 and discovered all the places that served food within the park were closed. We were already on the shuttle so decided to do the hike and eat on our way home. It was then Paige began to feel sick again. We were just waiting for her to puke on the shuttle to the delight of the grumpy driver. Luckily she didn't, maybe because her stomach was empty! However, she did not feel up to the hike so Jake kindly pushed her in the stroller while Jon carried Charlie.


The hike was called Weeping Rock and it was actually really pretty and the evening weather was pleasant. We headed home after that since it was getting dark and we were all hungry. I took my kids straight home and put them to bed. The fatigue took over the hunger and they all fell asleep on the car ride. The rest of us ate pizza around midnight.

The next day we decided to spend at Sand Hollow Reservoir. Michelle and I went to the store to get a picnic lunch then we all got packed and ready at the house. Paige was feeling fine, however, Charlie was a little hot with a fever. Tylenol and Motrin seemed to do the trick.
We kept Charlie resting in the shade and drinking lots of fluids. After a while he perked up and took a dip in the water. We all had a great time but Michelle and I had to get back to the house to get ready to go to Vegas!! We got all showered and dressed and hit the road.

On the way there Jon called to tell me he had decided to take Charlie in to Instacare because his breathing sounded raspy and still had the fever. While Michelle and I were eating (possibly the WORST meal of our lives) he called again to say that the Dr. thought Charlie had pneumonia and wanted him to go to the ER. Charlie's breathing was shallow and rapid, his oxygen levels were low, and it wasn't improving. I began to feel worried about the seriousness, about Charlie wanting his mommy, and also about how well Jon was doing on his own. Jake was stranded at the house with the rest of the kids and I was worried that Paige and Haily would be scared and worried and not have a parent there for them. I was really fighting back the tears and called Jon because I just really needed to be reassured that everything was going to be OK. He told me it was fine, Charlie was already perking up. Told me to have fun and enjoy myself. He also promised to text me throughout so I wouldn't have to worry. I felt so much better! Into the concert we went!
We had general admission tickets so we were on the floor about 10 rows back from the stage. This is a picture I took with my camera (not zoomed in) of the first act, the Jabbawockeez, a really cool dance group. They won me over when they did a little tribute to Michael Jackson! It was during this act when I got a text from Jon. It said that Charlie was really struggling, that HE was having a hard time, and needed me to call. I went out into the foyer and called. I asked what was going on. He said "I don't know what to tell you. All I know is that our little boy is struggling to breathe, he has tubes coming out all over him."

The image in my head was NOT good, and I could see that my husband needed some support too. I ran back in and got Michelle. I didn't know weather or not everything was going to be OK, and even if it was, I knew I needed to be with my family. We had a long, sad, disappointing 2 hour car ride to the hospital. Michelle was so understanding and kind about the whole thing. She never complained once or questioned my decision.
Charlie had to stay in the hospital until his breathing was under control, which ended up being about 24 hours. He had an IV, oxygen mask, and monitors. I stayed with him overnight while Jon went back to the house to get some rest and be with the girls. After the tests, X-rays, and exams, we are still not 100% sure of the diagnosis. Some doctors thought pneumonia, while others thought it was a virus that attacked the lungs and caused an asthma like response. He had to do breathing treatments at home every four hours for a few days but has seemed to have made a full recovery with the exception of a residual cough. When I carried him out and he saw his sisters for the first time, this is the face he did.

For the first few days I was just concerned about Charlie and grateful that he was well. Then it hit me. We had missed the concert after all that planning, preparation, and anticipation. Jon felt so bad he tried and tried to figure out how we could go to Denver to catch the show but it just didn't work out. I really started to analyze why it was such a big deal. Here is my explanation, which will also clarify why I love the NEW New Kids so much.

Everyone gets worn out with the duties and responsibilities of their lives. Everyone needs a break here and there, a little escape. I feel this is especially true for mothers.

The New Kids are seriously so brilliant in their marketing. They KNOW their fan base so well. They know we are mostly 30 something moms and wives who crave validation. The concert is really not about the music, although the music is truly GOOD, it's about the experience. The message you get is this: "You are a beautiful, interesting, fun, exciting woman. I notice you...for YOU, not just for your kids and family, but as an individual." It makes you feel young and free again. Takes you back to the days before life got so complicated and you took on so many responsibilities. So many people want that. Going to a New Kids concert with fun friends is a totally safe, acceptable, fun way to get it.

So, getting a phone call from my HUSBAND about my sick CHILD was so opposite of the experience I was seeking. It was a huge reality check! "You are a MOM! You can never walk away from that obligation even if you want to because that is where your HEART is. You are in your 30's (so OLD), you are PREGNANT (so NOT sexy). You belong at home with your family not here."

It's taken me some time to come to terms with that. Maybe it's knowing that in a few short weeks I will have a new little one to take care of and will REALLY be tied down for a while. But what I know to be true is that this time in life goes so fast. My babies grow up. I wouldn't give up motherhood for anything. There is a time for everything, including rock concerts, and right now is my time to ENJOY being a mother, no matter how I try to fight it! : )

P.S. I also believe that pregnant moms can feel just as young, fun, and sexy as ANYONE else!

4th of July

This year, the festivities began with a girls get-away with some friends to Island Park. Some of the photos, including the one above, were taken by my talented friend, Katie. This was one of the many gorgeous views we had during a nice morning walk.


We went into West Yellowstone and walked through the shops. Of course we made a mandatory stop for ice cream! We also ate dinner in a cute little old fashioned diner where we had the most delicious sandwiches. The candy shop was a fun one too. Jolene especially loved her coconut long boys.
We laughed so hard playing games later that night. It was such a good time.



I loved being with these gals so much! It had been WAY too long! Shyla and I are both having baby girls later this year! We missed KA! Thanks to the Perkes for allowing us to use their cabin. It was the perfect quiet, relaxing get away.

The next night we roasted hot dogs and s'mores at Jake's house.

This pedal car is the kids' favorite thing! They love riding it!

The night of the 3rd we went to a neighborhood fireworks display which has grown so much they had it computerized and had to get a permit from the city. Needless to say, it was pretty exciting!
For some more than others.
We also got to see our family friends, the Bransons, who I haven't seen in years! They are such good people and we enjoyed the yummy home made ice cream my mom made while catching up.

The next morning was the parade. I loved it and the kids did too. Who doesn't love a parade?
Then is was time for a good ol' barbeque! Perfect weather, yummy food, lots of family and friends.

That night was the BIG show. IF is perfect because it's a small town feel with some big bucks to back up an amazing display. They choreograph it to music which is played on the radio. I heard that around 100,000 people attend each year. They all gather around the banks of the snake river, right by the temple, and set up blankets and chairs and food. It all starts early on in the day so you can get a good seat. This year, our friend Crook, went early and sectioned off an area for us. It was seriously the best seats I've ever had. The ash and cardboard shells were falling on us like rain!





Haily enjoyed fireworks much better with these headphones. Thanks uncle Jake.





My favorite time of year! And all my favorite people!

I am so blessed.

just a reminder!

Most of you have probably already seen this but in case you haven't, or as a friendly reminder...

My friend Michelle and I are doing a super FUN, CRAZY, fundraiser in an effort to earn a little extra money in this economy for one last ultimate girls night out! (Details are on the website below. :) )

It is an on-line boutique selling yummy hand made specialty goodies, magnets, and cute hair clips, t-shirts, and bows for little girls. They make great gifts too if you are going to a baby shower, or want to take a treat to someone, birthday, whatever!

The website is www.summertimesweetsboutique.blogspot.com
Take a quick look and see if anything strikes your fancy! And if you feel so inclined, pass the link on to anyone you think might be interested!

We are taking orders until Sunday and they will be delivered or shipped by Wednesday. All the info is on the site!

Thanks Wonderful Women!

After my last post I got so many wonderful comments, phone calls, texts, and emails that really uplifted me. I am truly thankful to be surrounded by such supportive, strong, understanding, loving, and sensitive women!
Here are two things that were emailed to me that I wanted to post for all to enjoy. Thanks to Shyla and Sarah for sending them to me.

"Invisible Moms"
It all began to make sense, the blank
stares, the lack of
response, the way one of the kids will walk into
the room while I'm on
the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't
you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one
can see if I'm on the
phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or
even standing on my head in
the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The
invisible Mom.



Some days I am only a pair of hands,
nothing more: Can you fix
this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm
not even a human being.
I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a
satellite guide to answer,
'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car
to order, 'Right around
5:30, please.' I was certain that these were
the hands that once held
books and the eyes that studied history and the
mind that graduated
summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared
into the peanut butter,
never to be seen again. She's going, she's
going, she's gone!



One night, a group of us were having
dinner, celebrating the
return of a friend from England . Janice had
just gotten back from a
fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about
the hotel she stayed
in. I was sitting there, looking around at the
others all put together
so well. It was hard not to compare and feel
sorry for myself as I
looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the
only thing I could find
that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up
in a hair clip and I was
afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in
it. I was feeling pretty
pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package,
and said, 'I brought you this..' It was a book
on the great cathedrals
of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd
given it to me until
I read her inscription: 'To Carol , with
admiration for the
greatness of what you are building when no one
sees.'



In the days ahead I would read - no,
devour - the book.. And I
would discover what would become for me, four
life-changing truths,
after which I could pattern my work: No one can
say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave
their whole lives for a work they would never
see finished. They made
great sacrifices and expected no credit. The
passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God
saw everything. A
legendary story in the book told of a rich man
who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled
and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird
into a beam that will be
covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.'
And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'



I closed the book, feeling the missing
piece fall into place.. It
was almost as if I heard God whispering to me,
'I see you, Charlotte. I
see the sacrifices you make every day, even when
no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've
sewn on, no cupcake
you've baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will
become.'



At times, my invisibility feels like an
affliction.. But it is
not a disease that is erasing my life. It is
the cure for the disease
of my own self-centeredness.. It is the antidote
to my strong, stubborn
pride. I keep the right perspective when I see
myself as a great
builder. As one of the people who show up at a
job that they will never
see finished, to work on something that their
name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say
that no cathedrals could
ever be built in our lifetime because there are
so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.



When I really think about it, I don't
want my daughter to tell
the friend she's bringing home from college for
Thanksgiving, 'My mom
gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade
pies, and then she hand
bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all
the linens for the
table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a
monument to myself. I
just want her to want to come home. And then,
if there is anything more
to say to her friend, to add, 'You're gonna love
it there..'



As mothers, we are building great
cathedrals. We cannot be seen
if we're doing it right. And one day, it is
very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have
built, but at the beauty
that has been added to the world by the
sacrifices of invisible women..

And this is a great quote from Sheri Dew:
"Here is the truth about womanhood. Our Father gave His daughters a divine endowment
of gifts that give us unique influence. First and foremost, we have the high privilege of
bearing children. If mortality is the time in all eternity to prove ourselves, then there is
nothing more important than bearing children and leading them along the path home.
President David O. McKay said that, 'motherhood is the greatest potential influence . . .
in human life'(Improvement Era, 1953, 452).
Our Father also gifted us with the nature to nurture, keen sensitivity to the Spirit,
selflessness, discernment, and heroic faith. No wonder our Father placed us at the heart of
the family and thus at the center of the plan of salvation. We are the Lord’s secret
weapon. Pre-mortally, when our Father described our role, we must have shouted for joy
because of the ennobling stature He gave women in His kingdom. The world won’t tell us
this stunning truth, but the Spirit will."

Love you girls!

Lost Identity

Last Sunday in church, it was our family's turn to be the Spotlight in Primary. This year, since the focus is on families, they do spotlights on the whole family, not just one child. They asked us to come in and tell a little about each person; talents, hobbies, etc. Jon thought it would be fun if we each picked someone to "introduce" rather than talk about ourselves. I think he is just uncomfortable talking about himself but I thought it sounded like a good plan.

So the night before, we sat down to plan out what we were going to say. I wanted the kids to come up with their own ideas, not just say what we told them to say! But I also wanted to make sure it was appropriate!

Paige decided to introduce Jon. She came up with lots of things like:
- He works at home so she gets to see him all the time.
- He plays soccer with her in the backyard and she beats him.
- He teaches her about basketball and the players when they watch the Jazz games together.
- He lets her play his drums.
WOW! He sounds like a great dad. And he must be if that is what his own kids think up to say about him. (PS if it's not clear, I am not disputing this. He is a great dad! :))

Haily chose to introduce me.

She couldn't think of anything. She turned to Paige for some ideas. Paige couldn't think of anything. Jon was silent. Finally, Paige said, "What DO you do, Mom?" Then someone suggested that I like to watch TV. Jon laughed and said "It's true." (I feel like I have to defend myself here because although I do have a handful of shows that I watch regularly, I RARELY watch TV during the day. I almost always DVR it and watch it when the kids go to bed.)

She ended up talking mainly about how I'm going to have a baby and also that I give her medicine when she's sick. She mentioned (with Jon's prompting) that I used to run before I was pregnant. But let's face it, it's not like it's a talent. I'm not GOOD at running!

I started reflecting about myself and who I am, what I do, what I like. I'm left feeling a little lost. I thought, "Maybe I don't have time for hobbies and developing talents because I'm always busy cleaning, cooking, shopping, taking kids here and there, etc." Then I looked around the house. I saw the clutter, the piles of laundry, the empty cupboards. Looks like I haven't been doing those things lately! I really can't take pride in my skills as a housekeeper, organizer, laundress, or cook these days.

In fact, right when we walked in the door after church Jon started telling me that "we" (meaning ME) need to figure out how to better organize the kitchen so there isn't so much clutter in the counter top all the time. I just didn't want to discuss it at that moment so I said, "I know that is important but can we please not talk about it right now?" He goes "UNREAL!" So frustrating.

Has motherhood finally taken over my identity? Is all my energy spent getting the kids to school, helping with homework, putting band-aids on scrapes, paying the bills, and running the household in general? I started to really feel invisible. I mean, yes the kids need someone to feed them, to clean them, and get them to school. But couldn't anyone do that? I feel like a generic "mother" robot. Where is my personality? Who would I be without motherhood?

I'm feeling lost.

Part of me wants to get away alone to "find myself". But really, where would I go and what would I do to accomplish that? And don't you have to "lose yourself in the service of others" to find yourself? But isn't that what I already do?

Jon thinks I'm just "pregnant crazy" I'm sure. And maybe he's right. But these are the thoughts and feelings I'm having these days.

Fun in the SUN

Here are some pics from our recent trip to St. George. We had a great time as a family and look forward to doing it again soon. We did a lot of swimming, went to Zions, and visited Jon's grandparents. It was a perfect trip.

Grandpa Kay took the kids for rides on his riding lawnmower.

Paige really loved the diving rings. She's getting more and more brave with her swimming.


Charlie had a ball too, especially digging into the cooler.
Yes, that's a Barbie life jacket. And yes, we do have a more gender appropriate one for him but he couldn't be talked out of this one. Safety above fashion, I guess.
The ice cream at Zion's was Jon's highlight. It was such a beautiful place and the weather was ideal. It felt like Heaven.

This is the hike we did, Lower Emerald Pool. It was easy and fun, even Charlie could do it. And it was beautiful.


We saw lots of animals. This deer let us get so close!
This squirrel was HUGE!
We tried but had no luck catching a lizard. Maybe next time.


Riding the shuttle was Charlie's favorite thing!
Grandma Jean
The kids loved picking peas from their garden.
Every night the kids were WORN OUT! (And we were too.)
This hummingbird was nesting on the back patio of Grandpa Kay and Grandma Jean's house. The nest was about the size of a golf ball. It was fun to watch.

Student of the Month

A couple weeks ago, Haily was chosen as the student of the month for her class. The value was "honesty" and her teacher was to choose a student who excelled in that. She chose our sweet Haily!
Jon and I got to go to the school and have lunch with her. She also got to pick out a little notebook and pencil. We are so proud of you, Haily! It was a special day.
Haily's class also did a Nursery Rhyme Theater. Each child chose a short nursery rhyme that they memorized and performed. Haily chose Little Miss Muffet. She did such a cute job. Here is the video clip. The sound in not good but she did great!